Anyways, Yvette Flunder, orator and founder of the LGBT affirming City of Refuge Church, in DC. She posted this on the church's pastor Kendal Brown Facebook page:
Pastor Donnie knows like I know that Tonex’ is more the ‘rule’ than the exception to the rule. What makes Tonex’ unique is not that he is a Gay gospel music artist and Pastor but that he told the truth about his sexuality, while not claiming to be delivered. I believe that these public hateful words directed to the Same Gender Loving community come from the need to instill fear of public ridicule in the hearts of those who may be considering coming out and come from folks who felt they were denied the opportunity to be authentic in their sexuality AND remain successful in the mainline church. I am not worried about Tonex’. He will feel the pain of rejection for a time but he will rise up and answer the prophetic call to be a liberator to his generation. My deep concern is for those young people who are part of the COGIC and for their families who have now been driven deeper into the closet by experiences like this. The closet is a dangerous place, where theological, and physical self-abuse runs rampant.Now, I follow and understand what she is saying because those types of messages Donnie McClurkin and those like him are very dangerous and the cause of a many suicides/suicide-attempts along with self-deprecating behaviors. However, her message isn't universal to all portion of the US especially the South, Midwest, or West. Also most black folks still live in the South, and not in the large cities of NYC, LA, Chicago contrary to popular notions (just check out the US Census site). Outside the large cities, partiuclarly in the South, you are playing Russian Roulette with your well-being since homeless shelters are overflowing these days due to the deep recession. Also they are few to no refuges for SGL/LGBT youths that are kicked out or runaways (especially in Birmingham), so you have to play your hand wisely if you want to not wind up on the streets. There are some resources here in Birmingham, but they are very limited to AIDS Alabama, Central Alabama Pride, and Birmigham MPowerment group. However, from last I checked only AIDS Alabama can provide any real physical resources but most of those are reserved for HIV/AIDS patients. However, the dilemma lays with what choices one makes and how they are executed.
These young people love the church and feel the only place they can go is underground. I am encouraging these young people to find their voices and not run to the shadows to live in fear like my generation has. Watch the signs, change is possible. God is greater than any denomination and bigger than the narrow theologies that seek to hold us hostage. I am excited about our future and I am determined to let folks know that there are safe places to land.
I believe (depending on their individual situation) one can come out in stages and work towards being totally independent of their parents, relatives, or guardians, if they aren't supported by any of them for being out. However, one can only do what is applicable to their situation aside from the "throw the baby out with the bathwater" approach that is universally advocated by some. I'm not saying coming out at all because that is ridiculous, but you have to wise and have a plan on whatever you do when coming out...