Tuesday, October 23, 2012

I'm going to dedicate 5 minutes of my life to say this about black-white SGL dating...

Rarely nowadays do I comment on the racial politics of SGL male dating, but let me be honest about this whole white-black dynamic. Preface, yeah there are more racial combinations in the world, but in the US the white-black contrast is always the most contentious.  Back to topic, white-black racial combo in relationships is always tricky.  You may ask, "why do you say that?".  Well for starters, black LGBTs are still the bottom of the racial hierarchy in the US because "the mandingo, i.e. supposed 'big black dick'", "they are all thugs", "they aren't very well rounded or educated", "they are lazy and shiftless", or "they all have AIDS and/or HIV" stereotype.  Many have taken these stereotypical myths and applied to dealing with black males as only cutbuddies/fuckbuddies or hook up only material rather than dating.

In my personal experience, there has been a lot of objectification that goes on throughout the gay/bisexual fold of men in general, but there is a special set of rules that seem to exist just for black-white sexual & relationship interactions.  Where the black guy suppose to be the "dominant top with a big dick" and the white guy is "submissive bottom that loves big dick".

Also have to interject the problematic age disparity of some white guys when it comes to dating or being open to having a relationship with black guys.  Many will intentionally wait until they are "used up" or 30+ years in age to engage or "explore this" after many of their fellow "more appealing" (in the aforementioned supposed hierarchical terms) are tired of them or unattainable anymore.  This perplexes me considering I, like many other black guys whom aren't racial specific, was like this since day one when we encounter white guys whom are much older than us always approaching us like we are "their last resort".  My motto is this, "if you didn't want to deal with a black guy when you were a 'hot commodity' then don't deal with one when you aren't anymore".

Now personally, I am not a "top" at all and generally non-discriminatory when it comes to anything including dating although I lean more towards other black guys.  I have dated a couple of white guys and have experienced this silliness first hand. I do find this dynamic annoying to say the least.  I also find that this expectation to be off-putting when it comes to interracial dating with guys.  Let's not forget in the South and in many parts of the US in general, a significant majority still believe in the aforementioned negative connotation about black guys.  It's just a double negative as to why I'm extremely choosy about dating white guys, period.

If I get a hint of a reason to believe that person is that way then, I'm chucking up the deuces...

Love is love, and it shouldn't have any color boundaries or limitations because of the social construct known as "race".

Saturday, October 20, 2012

Uh huh, so you want to deal with NYC...

Yeah, I will say this.  I'm not exactly the biggest fan of New York (City) for a number of reasons including it being overrated.  So this op-ed piece that appeared on the Huffington Post by Leigh Owen.  He basically said in a sort of words, "if you are black or Hispanic, you need to leave NYC, ASAP".  This stresses my sentiments of why I am lacking in fascination of that city and its surrounding region.  Don't get me wrong it would be nice to see and visit but in realistic terms on livability for myself, nope.

I know somebody that is a former (an ex) that is relocating there and his premise of doing such is because he is tired of the South.  His rants included the overzealous nature of the religious particular religious blacks and "intelligent people" in Atlanta and the South in general.  Also the fact that one doesn't need a car in NYC as well with 24/7 mass transit.  Yeah, it is true that NYC and the Northeast Megalopolis lacks overt religiousness compared to the South and higher than average people with education attainment.

However, that doesn't translate to the devoid of religious blacks because US blacks in general are a very pious demographic group as whole regardless of location.  Also I might add that yeah, NYC has 24/7 mass transit but so does ChicagoPhiladelphia, and the PATH of Northern New Jersey.  I admire NYC for being "that big city" but it is also a very hostile environment for black and Hispanic males due to its screwed up police force (NYPD), stop-and-frisk policy, and trigger-happy practices of gunning down innocent parties.  To be plain and simple, it's not a good place to be black and even the US Census reported that blacks have fled from New York in droves.

As quiet as it's been kept, I would prefer Chicago over New York.  At least I know what I'm getting into and it has a quaint, charming character that New York lacks which is 5 boroughs battling over whom is the most dominant.  All I have to say to him is this, I wish you well and have fun (also learn to be honest with yourself).  I'll be in DC or Chicago where those places have mass transit and are more my flavor because I like my cities with character and diversity not braggadocios places with deep seeded racial problems.

Sunday, October 14, 2012

You can tell when some splaboos are miserable souls

Well, pardon the happy couple for being happy.  Back in September, Nathanael Gay and Robert Brown decided to wed at the Griffin Gate Marriott resort in Lexington (Kentucky).  They even had friends, family, and even fellow line brothers (LBs) of Nathanael's fraternity (Kappa Alpha Psi) in attendance.

Meanwhile, I swear some splaboos are always on the beat being assholes towards black LGBTs that found happiness.  The trolls at Bossip always on their jobs of being the "typical gossiping yet judgmental homophobes".  I have to give Clutch magazine credit for being quite pragmatic and optimistic because these men decided to be open and comfortable about themselves.

Others including Rod McCullom are reporting that the Twitter-verse was going crazy a couple of days ago with idiots making homophobic notions about the happy couple.  I swear it seems like some members of folk would rather somebody be bitter and fucked up like them than happy.  Ignorance running-a-mok...


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