I'm back sorta...

It's been nearly 11 months since I've last posted.  I'm back and hopefully on a regular basis.  Life happens, but I'm working on moving back into Intown areas of Atlanta since I'm starting a new gig in my career field.  Hopefully, I can continue to deliver my analyses of the things occurring in Metro Atlanta, Greater Birmingham, everywhere, and some life/social issues.

I will say this...why are there so many obtuse black gay and bisexual men or males in Atlanta.  Let me be more specific, I was just reading a post by another blogger than mainly focuses on porn, yeah the gay kind.  He was in shock or thrown off by a) how many people but particularly gay and bisexual males that are two timing backstabbers and b) how few people are truly your friends.  I was like, "Uh, I've learned years ago from sheer observation but also some quasi-personal experiences that most of the guys that tend to migrate here are thirsty, whores, attention whores, narcissistic/sociopaths, and finally, the come-up artist aka "stunt queen".  The few that do not fit these narratives are usually homebodies, low-key, or too busy with their careers to be caught up in the shenanigans.

I mean, I have a few friends that happened to be gay or bisexual males, but most of them are not.  It's hard enough as it is to encounter and befriend decent people in general in any major city.  However, befriending one that falls into the gay/bisexual fold is even rarer.  Let's not pretend there aren't thirsty mofos on Adam4Adam, BGCLive and/or Jack'd, (and if you are foolish enough to be on these following ones then the joke is on you) Grindr and/or Manhunt that have profiles based in Atlanta to know what is going on.  The thirst in real in this region and I can log onto any of these websites and look at how quick somebody is looking to fuck you before getting to know you.  So the porn industry is a dog-eat-dog world for sure.  I cannot even begin to tell you how warped the sense of reality because they are already not paid well because it is (black) urban gay porn.  Then you have the come-up-artist and "survival" mode mentality then you will likely not find many whom are really a friend.

*le sigh*

I'm not saying, but I'm just saying...

I see where you both are coming from, but sorry, you both are WRONG!

I have to say the take on the cultural appropriation of black male slang by and the discussion that followed was so ODD.  It just shows the rift that exists between the black heterosexual and black LGBTs over such simple issues.

Anyways, black LGBT author and blogger, Rashid Darden, wrote on his own personal blog, Dopalicious District, how he is perped by the usage of "black gay male slang" by black heterosexual females in everyday life and on certain TV shows. ***COUGH*** The Real Housewives of Atlanta & Married to Medicine ***COUGH***

This week’s Real Housewives of Atlanta was quite eventful, and other blogs will give you a proper recap.  For me, seeing Cynthia Bailey give Mynique Smith an “education” in gay black slang made me uncomfortable.

I am a black gay man and for years I’ve seen our culture and language appropriated by white people and by women.  On one hand, I can’t be too mad because that’s just the way culture and language works.  On the other hand, stop stealing our shit.

Darden expresses how he feels that many black heterosexual females have stolen the lingo of black gay men for their usage, but many of them are quite homophobic.

On the flipside, the blog post wind up becoming discussion of the popular black female lifestyle blog, Madame Noire, where columnist, Charling Ball, posted an extrapolated take/rebuttal on the topic.  Meanwhile, the commentator comes out on both sites (mostly black females) antagonizing Darden and other black gay males for feeling that slang/lingo was their originally.  As a matter of fact, many posters on the Madame Noire site kept refuting this about black LGBT culture:

cheekee baby: Ummmm Gay black men have been fashioning themselves after black women for ages. I mean really they are walking around with purses and high heels meant for women. Hello! Too many act like sassy caricatures of black women. So he clearly needs to get over himself.

Nikia D-Shiznit: So, gay black men walk around looking and dressing like women, behaving in ways that are feminine or what they think women do.... But their language is being misappropriated? I cry why I see a limp wristed man in a dress and high heels saying "hheeeyyyy."

While others went to the usual attacks of saying this about black gay males:

lockstress: So ya'll can borrow and wear our panties but I can't say hunty??? Boo...get a cramp and complain for REAL!

Chaz : Why did this writer even take the time out to write this article? He is talking about black females using words that supposedly black gay men came up with? LOL. Wow. You don't see us black females going around talking about how much gay men wanna be women. How they go around calling themselves "girl" , wearing eyelashes, make up, weave, they get butt implants, breast implants... must I go on?

Now, I'm not here for homoantagonism nor am I here for misogyny, but this is some bullshit...

This is where I feel both are wrong because 1) Yes, many black LGBTs have taken their behaviors, manners, etc. from older black women like their grandmother, aunts, mothers, etc. so it isn't for black males to claim originally, but 2) The terminology "read" isn't from black female culture at all because that was popularized by the NYC drag queens popularized by the documentary "Paris Is Burning" and finally 3) Yes, there are some asinine black heterosexual and homoantagonist bisexual females that ridicule black gay/bisexual/transgendered males will use that particular lingo and hypocritically hate on, express strong dislike, or possess hatred for that aforementioned group.

It is not my place to take sides on this subject because my last point is poignant about the whole topic. Additionally, there is not excuse for black heterosexuals regardless of gender to possess homophobic bias or homophobia towards black LGBTs when we are all in the same boat together in this seemingly anti-black Western society.  This has to cease if we are to push forward as a culture.  Attacking black LGBTs is as unbecoming of black folks as attacking mixed raced/biracial individuals for only having 1 black parent because they don't possess 2 black parents.  Just like black LGBTs didn't ask to be born with feelings of sexual attraction towards the same gender, both genders, or gender dysmorphia about themselves is the same as those mixed race or biracial individuals being born to parents with 2 different racial/ethnic backgrounds.

Oh the things, I haven't forgotten at all...

For starters, I do remember the days when I was younger and saw acceptance from others due to my earlier struggles with my weight.  However, when one comes to terms to understand yourself from your race (and for some their ethnicity), it gets even more complicated when you add sexuality to the mix.  My sexuality has been more of non-factor for me because I have never really allowed it to be placed at the forefront of my personal identity.  On the other hand, when one does began to interact with their peers and form relationships, it does become a kind come into play along with the other aforementioned characteristics such as race, ethnicity, height, and body type (weight).

Anyways, to get to the point.  I came across this article from GMFA, a UK-based organization that promotes positive and good health practices for gay, bisexual, and queer males.  The article is very true and quite on point of some of the things many non-white but particularly black gay and bisexual males have to deal with when they are on their journal of self acceptance and confidence.  This interesting segment of the article stuck out to me:

As a 17-year-old, seeing the “no Blacks, no Asians” statement displayed on a profile would sadden me, but that was nothing compared with getting those remarks back as a response after I had broken the ice in a direct message. Rejection is always worse when you are not expecting it, and people can react to sexual racism in various different ways. Ten years ago it would have made me angry and I would have instantly questioned how the rest of the world was viewing me, but these days, I really don’t give a damn about the thoughts of people who are clearly incapable of at displaying common decency. My school days, when I would attempt to ‘fit in’ with the majority, are long gone, and I am not going to spend my time worrying about the sexual preferences of a bunch of morons! 

Honestly, that is my journey to now went except I was 19 versus 17.  At the point and time now, I am confident in myself and don't care for anyone regardless of race if they aren't attracted to me.   However, I do still sigh for many SGL of color that seek companionship with those that maybe white face rejection for their race.  I have said time and time again, that exclusively seeking any group is going to be recipe for constant rejection, but with time I have found myself desiring a long term relationship and companionship with another black male.  It's not to say I cannot be with somebody that isn't a non-black male, but the truth is the likelihood is very high considering how so often sexual racism and fetishization plays a heavy role in interracial interactions still on a same-gender loving (SGL) relationships.

At the moment, I have been happily dating someone new for 6+ months and yeah it is a black guy, but I still to remember those days of the past when this was one of my challenges of personal growth.

Yeah, another one of these situations...

When will the deranged and white males stop gunning down black male youths because they think they are a threat?  I honestly don't know but this incident in suburban Jacksonville will go down as another one of those situations.

Jordan Davis was gunned down last Friday (November 23rd) at a  gas station on Jacksonville's Southside while in a car with friends.  Apparently, the music in the vehicle was "too loud" for Michael Dunn's tastes.  In return, Dunn confronted the teens in the vehicle over the music which led to Dunn getting his gun and shooting into the vehicle hitting Davis.  Davis suffered multiple wounds from the gunfire and was pronounced dead on arrival to the Shands Hospital on Jacksonville's Southside.  *SIGH*

Dunn was arrested in Brevard County at his condominium and charged the following day.  While arraigned before a Brevard County justice as his reason for shooting up the vehicle was him feeling threatened by the black teens. (WTF?)  Dunn was extradiated back to Duval County (which is the City of Jacksonville) and had the audacity to say "the teens had a shotgun in their vehicle".  (WTF?) 

Jordan Davis will be buried in Marietta, Georgia in the Metro Atlanta area.

I knew something was up when actual study showed that anti-black animus was up.  This is just more prove that some white Americans have to slow their groove on anti-black & brown racial animus because this nation is becoming more and more racially diverse with time...

Links and photos courtesy of WJXX/WTLV.

Uh huh, so you want to deal with NYC...

Yeah, I will say this.  I'm not exactly the biggest fan of New York (City) for a number of reasons including it being overrated.  So this op-ed piece that appeared on the Huffington Post by Leigh Owen.  He basically said in a sort of words, "if you are black or Hispanic, you need to leave NYC, ASAP".  This stresses my sentiments of why I am lacking in fascination of that city and its surrounding region.  Don't get me wrong it would be nice to see and visit but in realistic terms on livability for myself, nope.

I know somebody that is a former (an ex) that is relocating there and his premise of doing such is because he is tired of the South.  His rants included the overzealous nature of the religious particular religious blacks and "intelligent people" in Atlanta and the South in general.  Also the fact that one doesn't need a car in NYC as well with 24/7 mass transit.  Yeah, it is true that NYC and the Northeast Megalopolis lacks overt religiousness compared to the South and higher than average people with education attainment.

However, that doesn't translate to the devoid of religious blacks because US blacks in general are a very pious demographic group as whole regardless of location.  Also I might add that yeah, NYC has 24/7 mass transit but so does Chicago, Philadelphia, and the PATH of Northern New Jersey.  I admire NYC for being "that big city" but it is also a very hostile environment for black and Hispanic males due to its screwed up police force (NYPD), stop-and-frisk policy, and trigger-happy practices of gunning down innocent parties.  To be plain and simple, it's not a good place to be black and even the US Census reported that blacks have fled from New York in droves.

As quiet as it's been kept, I would prefer Chicago over New York.  At least I know what I'm getting into and it has a quaint, charming character that New York lacks which is 5 boroughs battling over whom is the most dominant.  All I have to say to him is this, I wish you well and have fun (also learn to be honest with yourself).  I'll be in DC or Chicago where those places have mass transit and are more my flavor because I like my cities with character and diversity not braggadocios places with deep seeded racial problems.

You can tell when some splaboos are miserable souls

Well, pardon the happy couple for being happy.  Back in September, Nathanael Gay and Robert Brown decided to wed at the Griffin Gate Marriott resort in Lexington (Kentucky).  They even had friends, family, and even fellow line brothers (LBs) of Nathanael's fraternity (Kappa Alpha Psi) in attendance.

Meanwhile, I swear some splaboos are always on the beat being assholes towards black LGBTs that found happiness.  The trolls at Bossip always on their jobs of being the "typical gossiping yet judgmental homophobes".  I have to give Clutch magazine credit for being quite pragmatic and optimistic because these men decided to be open and comfortable about themselves.

Others including Rod McCullom are reporting that the Twitter-verse was going crazy a couple of days ago with idiots making homophobic notions about the happy couple.  I swear it seems like some members of folk would rather somebody be bitter and fucked up like them than happy.  Ignorance running-a-mok...

Birmingham’s school district debacle

Where do I start? I will say that Birmingham school district is royally fucked if this isn't solved very soon.  In my opinion, they seem they have such a dilemma that most urban school districts seem to have these days. That problem is fiefdom mentality when it should even be this way. (Preference, what I am about to say is the honest yet objective truth). When it comes to the Birmingham school district, the whites that mostly now live in the suburbs such as the municipalities Hoover, Vestavia Hills, Gardendale, Fultondale, Clay, and Trussville or incorporated areas like McCalla and Grayson Valley, or western Saint Clair and northern Shelby counties were the ones that screwed up the school district because they didn't want their children to attend schools with blacks back in the 1960s, 70s, and 80s, but it was the mismanagement of the majority black and AEA (Alabama Education Association) led administrators that has led to the school districts problems since the 1990s. This is nothing new because school districts in New Orleans, Memphis, Atlanta, Washington DC, and many others across the South has this problem as well.

The whole "they are trying to take over our schools" mantra perpetuated by the Frank Matthews and the same crew of misguided individuals aided the selection of the ineptitude leadership of William Bell aka "the Jackal".  I weep for the socially progressive, working-class, and urban enthusiasts in the city of Birmingham because they have no true allies at all. It seems like instead of find some common ground with those across the city whom want to turn the school district around.  Many of these individuals have children in the district's schools that refuses to provide a quality education that is offered in the surrounding school districts.  As a result, many are forced to do just day either leave for the suburbs if their children cannot get into the Ramsey High School, the baccalaureate academy at Parker High School, or cannot afford to send their children to one of the private schools in the region if they want to remain within the city.  Instead of trying to improve the school district, the board members want to continue status quo so they preserve the jobs of those whom are family and friends in the Birmingham Board of Education central office.  Advocates of reform had to turn to the one entity within the government organization that probably has the least amount of regard for the urban school district in the one city that it wish would die more than anything else, the Alabama State Board of Education.  

Yeah, sure the current board has attempted to oust the current superintendent, Craig Witherspoon, more than once, but the Alabama Board of Education and apparently the courts are against that. However, it is the unlikely allies that reformers of the school districts battle against mediocrity and the current foes are what are worrisome. Let me not forget the current Birmingham School Board president being ruled a resident of Trussville rather than Birmingham after proof of him not being a full-time resident of the city was discovered. The school district is at risk losing its accreditation with the Southeast Association of Colleges and Schools (SACS) over the recurring problems with specific schools and the majority of the board's idiocy (can you say Clayton County, Georgia all over again). Finally, having a group of entitled urban mostly black bureaucrats are actually making things worse than their white counterparts and have the working-class, majority black electorate in the city thinking this is a racial usurp to get retribution on them by the state of Alabama. Now this is truly sad…

The one bright spot is the fellow blogger, Laura Kate Whitney, of MagicCityMade blog pointed out that Birmingham like most urban places are worth fighting for in the long run.  This battle has revealed that racial animus is behind the majority of this foolishness on the black members whom are against district reform on the Birmingham Board of Education.  As a black American, I understand and fight for the struggle of a socially egalitarian US by calling out the inequities of all times and bigotry of all.  However, the board members needs to realize that sometimes it best to not fight change because all they are doing is inadvertently destroying Birmingham's chances of recovering.

It's not about you guys, it is about fixing this declining school district before there is nothing left. *SIGH*

Washington is regretting its selection of Gray...

This is one of those situations where I have to tell folk, "I told you so..." about DC's mayor, Vincent Gray.  Back in 2010, there were so much chatter amongst the black blogosphere about how "bad Adrian Fenty was as DC's mayor", "how he sold DC to white people", and "how Michelle Rhee and Adrian Fenty were ruining DC".  So those across the black blogosphere cosigned the poor judgment of those voting in DC to elected Gray over Fenty.

It's so ironic those are more silent than a whore in church on the huge controversy that has bestowed upon DC for the umpteenth time.  As much as I don't care for any pawn of the business establishment, it seems that Fenty wasn't as idiotic and corrupt as his successor, Gray.  I am actually more annoyed at the fact that folk doesn't seems to want perfection from many that will talk that talk, but never walk the walk.  Gray is a text book example of this mentality and its plethora of failings.

Meanwhile, a number of members in his 2010 mayoral campaign staff, 2 DC Councilmen, and a former mayoral primary opponent were all later implicated to be involved in the shell game of using funds and authority he offered upon getting elected to mayor's helm.  (FYI, for others who want to say "but they do it too", no duh, I know whites do this but they have sense enough to know better to do this do obviously.)  


However, after going from 2 mayors, Anthony Williams and Fenty, whom helped the city regain prominence and allowed significant public works projects and strategies to progress that helped Washington become the planning and community development hub of the East Coast.  Also reformed the DC school district from the average US city school district with low rates of overall scholastic achievement to one where accountability for school progress was enforced from the instructors to school administrators and increase in achievement and test scores during Fenty's tenure.  These are the things that are just as important as allowing adequate access of the citizenry whom are qualified for city jobs and pacifying those whom were in your corner.  It seems that so many in the establishment camp miss this lesson, you have to improve the entire city from across the board.  

I guess living in a city like Birmingham, where this is the reason why there is such a huge leadership void because nobody with pragmatic, progressive, and transparency tied into their political existence that it will continue to be more idiots than leaders at the city's helm.  To sum it up, most Birminghamians lack the nuance of their choices for mayor rather they allow the "establishment" to manipulate their perspectives, and wins every time.  In reality, the same thing happens in Alabama in general, but this applies with white citizens more often than black citizens...

*sigh* This is so depressing and shows that sometimes you have to give it up to the predominately white urban business establishment in a number of US cities.  They can get a progressive that has some sense elected that is smart enough not be caught up in blatant corruption.   I was shock when New Orleans chose Mitch Landrieu, because one he wasn't a puppeteer of the black establishment nor was he was one of the urban white business establishment.  New Orleans wasn't alone considering Charlotte elected Anthony Foxx, whom like Landrieu, wasn't apart of neither camp, rather loosely affiliated with both sides in the way to get elected.

Folk has to get it together because there seems to be a leadership problem in Birmingham, Atlanta, Memphis, and now Washington...

Sometimes I wonder are US black gay/bisexual men are their own worse enemies

Yeah, I said it.  I hate to get to this point, but it seems to be the dilemma I see going on.  It doesn't matter if it is on BGC, Adam4Adam, Facebook, Twitter, or the randoms blogs, it seems like the divisions amongst black gay/bisexual men (especially in the US).

Exhibit A: The upstart blog "Discreet City", which is a blog about relationships, being masculine black man (cue *eyeroll*), being "discreet about your sexuality" while maintaining a sense of self as a man.  Yeah, that is a mouthful.  I would say yeah this is a good thing, but why is that this blog dedicates so many of its posts to talking about the "femininization of black gay males".  Along with the authors' personal indictments of how relationships form and why they exist (really guys?)  Does it really matter?  I am asking because so many other topics could be discussed (which they do occasionally, keyword "occasionally"), but why talk so much about these topics like it truly matters.  If US black gay/bisexual men are more worried about masculinity and  perception of their mannerisms then we are in some trouble.  It seems that this site is more caught up on the idea of making men whom happen to be masculine, black, and gay/bisexual feel better about themselves as "outsiders trying to confirm to social standards" rather than stand as a beacon of unification of the heavily factionalized black GBTs.  Divisive tactics are counterproductive to the overall collective body.

I'm sorry but femininity is the least of most black GBTs issues considering the surmounting number of us falling victim to hate crimes more often than not, to commit suicide, being the ones whom are more likely to know somebody or is that somebody that contracts HIV, and the list goes on and on and on...

This is not an incriminating saying to black GBTs in general just the ones that causes the most problems amongst the demographic.  Masculinity shouldn't even be an issue of discussion unless you are more hung on people's mannerisms than their entire personality (and physical appearance).  Remember, we are the group that allows our black pride celebrations be more about the parties (and orgies) than about the informational seminars and public celebrations/gatherings.  I feel when forums about how poorly represented a certain group is one thing but when you criticize and look for ways to make others whom possess a different perspective than you feel alien then  you are doing more harm than good.  Also, it shouldn't be about trying to hide oneself from the world because of the complicity is why we are still more likely than not to be victims of circumstance than champions of success.   As a group, we should be the ones whom unity one another rather than look for further divisions between ourselves.

Oh yeah Nick & Octavius, if you have an issue with what I said on my blog well you going to have to get over it.  My opinions are about the obvious and the collective not about what really bothers me about other black gay/bisexual men.  Say what you but remember you are just fulfilling a negative stereotype.  ;)

Cities with significant black populations in their region

All this talk about cities with large black populations has got me thinking about the places that have such and the ones that doesn't.  Statistically, a place with a large black population is based upon the percentage being 15% or greater of its overall population being considered African American or black.  Everyone (and their mother) is familiar with some of places off the top of their head like New York, Chicago, Detroit, Philadelphia, Washington DC, and nowadays Atlanta.  However, there are some other cities with some impressive black populations, but overshadowed by the aforementioned places.  Here is a list of these places:

Houston
Charlotte
Memphis (which has the highest concentration of any metropolitan area with 1 million+ inhabitants at 43.5%)
Baltimore
St. Louis
Kansas City
Birmingham
Raleigh/Durham/Chapel Hill
Greensboro/Winston-Salem/High Point
Norfolk/Virginia Beach
Richmond
Dallas/Fort Worth
Cleveland
Miami/Fort Lauderdale/West Palm Beach
New Orleans

Here are some ideal places where one can find black culture in the region, but doesn't want to reside in those in the initial list of places like NYC to DC to the ATL.

2 fails and a success (sort of...)

OK, North Carolina and its ability to negate the fact that it is a Southern state with fools at the wheel leading it future, FAIL!  FYI, same-sex unionships were already banned at a state-level in North Carolina prior to this referendum.  It is interesting that the majority of people would be willing to vote for an amendment that would essentially strip even common law heterosexual couples of recognition, domestic partnership benefits, and domestic violence protections.  North Carolina is a state of dichotomy with very socially progressive urban areas, but staunch socially conservative (and very regressive) rural areas.  It is very dubious mentality for a place that wants to the most competitive state of the New South (against Georgia, Virginia, Florida, and Maryland).  It seems at the moment, Maryland has the last laugh on this front, but theirs is up for the ballot as well.

Oh yeah, let me not forget President Obama affirming support for "marriage equality" for all including same-sex couples, which is a win, sort of...  The catch is he still believes it should be up to the individual states to decide for themselves whether or not they will be marriage equality for both heterosexual and homosexual relationships.  Interestingly, the perspective of likely the most prudent compromise of supporting same-sex unionships, i.e., "same-sex marriages", but remaining pragmatic which allows those whom use the guise of states' rights as a reason to non the measures.

To be more interesting, former Congressman, Artur Davis decided to blog about the President's announcement.  He attempted legitimized the opposition that exists amongst so many black Americans.  He has the tried and true argument that has been used by so many older black Americans about the disarray of stable coupling of younger generations of adults.  Yeah, I would agree that there needs to be more stability of relationships of black adults in general, but the scapegoating of same-sex couples as an additional threat is ludicrous.  This all goes back to the notion there aren't good male role models for black male youths to display to these impressible minds that responsibility of be a good father (and stop fucking every thing that walks without a condom).  It is quite faulty for Davis to use this as a justification of banning the extension of basic rights afforded to most in other Westernized nations to all their monogamous and committed couples of all combinations (male-female, male-male, female-female).  This is one situation where I don't agree with Davis attempt to be pragmatic when you are simply giving validity to myopia, FAIL!

The dilemma for Black LGBTs

Visit msnbc.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

Visit msnbc.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

Kudos to Dr. Melissa Harris-Perry on her MSNBC show airing this interesting topic that I have talked about in different aspects over the last few years.  The problems that seem to exist between LGBTs and blacks.  Now I'm not one to jump to a conclusion, but it was very potent for one of the commentators to point out how if the two groups are to coalesce then both needs active support on both sides.  The commentator spoke about the taciturnity of many LGBT interest groups on the Trayvon Martin case, yet almost always expects support from black interest groups on their issues.  Human rights are human rights regardless of whom or what is the focus of discussion is about.

The one pause of thought lays with the notion that the Reverend Barber's lack of concern for same-sex unionship equity.  At the end of the day, it seems this as close to true coalescent opposition is going to get in this Southern state because there will still be those against same-sex unionship on a legalized basis.

Some random thoughts (and a little ranting)...

What is with black folks and the indoctrination of self-deprecation and self-defeating mentality on life itself.  I speak on this because when I step outside of my very tight knit circle of friends (and when I mean tight I mean less than 5 people), I see so much of this.  I only surround myself on a personal-level with positive individuals that have much to offer in life other than the same old crap I see in the world itself, negativity.  It's a damn shame that as a group black people will shift towards this "holier than thou" disposition or "leave it all to Jesus" mentality when at the end of the day it's clearly a personal issue of psychological dissonance.

There was one person in my life, that I used to have long time ago that fronted like he was pragmatic, but his deep seated psychological issues seeped to the surface and they became this overtly negative and arrogant individual.  It was awful seeing somebody of so much potential to be a very productive member of society devolve into this self-defeating and stagnant soul with an arrogant chip on their should.  I had to remove them from my life by choice because they wen't providing anything of substance to myself (rather taking).

On to more related issues, I read this evening the blog, Black Gay Men's Blog, and its topic discussion on same-sex unions, i.e. "gay marriage" amongst black males.  It seemed that even though much growth has occurred in the past several decades, many have fully embraced this internal self-deprecating and bigoted views about unions and long-term relationships.  I've had my missteps but I also realize that if you embrace negativity then you wind up more miserable than you were beforehand.  The notion another individual would allow their peers, environment, sometimes even media and stereotypes affirm whom they are then it shows how weak-minded they are as individuals.  I refuse to allow anyone define me as a person, I know I'm far from perfect but anyone with half a brain and an ounce of common sense knows themselves well enough to not allow others to make them insecure.

Honestly, I believe it is the root of the self-destructive behavior that so many black SGL/gay/bisexual men partake in such as risky behaviors like unprotected sex, drug use, and obsession with unrealistic standards for others and sometimes themselves with their body image.

It's funny I've been writing this blog for nearly 2 years, but the truth hurts whether it about whites, blacks, LGBT/SGLs, or individuals.

Rant over.

Oh goodie, New Birth is coming to Birmingham, well sorta...

Well, Refiner's House is going to become "New Birth Birmingham".  According to Monday's edition of the Birmingham News, the church housed in the old auto parts building in the Huffman area that was founded in 2001 but located there in 2007 will become affiliated with the embattled New Birth Missionary Baptist Church in Lithonia in Metro Atlanta.

"We'll no longer be the Refiner's House; we'll be New Birth Birmingham," said Elder Kesia Webb Dailey, a spokesperson for the church. "We'll receive benefits of mentorship, resources, relationships."

Also the church's elder Kesia Webb Dailey said,

"That's our bishop and we love him," Dailey said. "We thank God what transpired is over. We're moving ahead."

Really Kesia?  You don't think the settlement of allegedly $25M with the 4 accusers of sexual coercion of Eddie Long had no effect on your views of him.  That is interesting to say the least, but you make your bed so lay in it, my dear.

Oh yeah, New Birth also wants to open a Denver church as well.  Ironically, where one of the accusers, Jamal Parris, now resides...

(links courtesy of the Birmingham News)

Things I must say aloud that need to be told

Riddle me this, riddle me that, why is it that certain men whom want to be 'closeted' about their lives seem to post pictures on social networking sites like Facebook and/or Twitter on Memorial Day weekend?  I mean if you are a single black males and most people realize you are a ***AHEM*** 'confirmed bachelor' then why would you travel to Miami or Washington, D.C. and then post the pix?  I'm not dumb and some others aren't dumb either people, the widely known skinfest for black SGL men and their admirers was held on the Greater Miami area this past Memorial Day weekend (as it is every Memorial Day holiday for the past 11 years) and also the DC Black Pride was held in Washington.  So...  I mean in the words of Ed Lover, "COME ON, SIR!", we all now know are suspecting that you aren't straight, but you want to play that role then have at it but don't say I didn't warn you all.  I'm not saying, but I'm just saying...

In other things, I see that the GOP side of the 2012 presidential race has turned into an attention whorefest where Sarah "I can see Russia from my backyard" Palin is riding around the Megalopolis corridor beckoning for attention.  This Alaskan heifer wants everyone to pay attention to her simple-minded ass, but yet wants to proclaim she isn't running.  Then why are you traveling up on the down the East Coast in a bus, moron?  I can't stand people whom want attention but then play dumb when they are called out on it.

In Alabama, recall they say, recall?  I don't think so.  However, Alabama State Senator (and well known corrupt politico), Roger Bedford along with Senator Marc Keahey has filed two separate but identical bills in the Alabama Legislature calling for recalls of state politicians.  However, the catch is it is only for state officials not county or municipal level officials.

“The potential for recall elections forces legislators to be more accountable to the people, and diminishes the influence of special interests groups and political party bosses,” Keahey said.

Keahey’s amendment would allow the public to recall an elected official after one year into the elected official’s term of office. To recall an elected official, Keahey’s bill states that voters must file a petition with the Secretary of State. The petition must be signed by a number of voters that equals at least 25 percent of the vote cast in the previous election for the office being recalled. The petition must then be submitted to the Secretary of State within 90 days of the original filing. If the Secretary of State determines that all requirements have been met, a recall vote will be scheduled for the sixth Tuesday following the announcement of the decision.

I knew Bedford especially didn't truly mean to promote reform considering he is the well-known Pork King of the Alabama Legislature.  But I digress, it seems like they have formulated 2 bills hoping it will pass this late in the regular session of the Alabama Legislature, which I know they won't unless a miracle on Goat Hill occurs.  Anyways, that's that.  (h/t to Left in Alabama and the Atmore News for the links).

Clap, Clap, Bravo for Don Lemon!

I gotta give him props where props are due.  CNN weekend anchor, Don Lemon, has revealed in his upcoming autobiography about him being born a homosexual.  It's ironic considering what went down in the past few days in my own personal life.  I went bowling with a friend and a few acquaintances, and during this outing one of the acquaintances, a female and black, decided to say that she didn't "believe in" in homosexuality because of her religion.  I was about to let her have it, but decided to just let her figure out how stupid she sounded considering.

Lemon said:

As a journalist I believe that part of my mission is to shed light onto dark places. So, the disclosure of this information does not inhibit in any way my ability to be the professional, fair and objective journalist I have always been.

There you have it folks, Lemon is speaking the truth that as a journalist you must be honest as well to be able to seek the truth out for the public.  I applaud him for standing up and going against the grain on being himself.  Although there has to be idiots that shown their asses in certain spots of the black blogosphere and forumsphere about his coming out because some people just want to be sanctimonious or apathetic assholes (like some of the members whom are useless pieces of shit like the Lipstick Alley users, Ms.Devine, RightFullyWrong).  

Just when I thought Eddie Long couldn't get anymore ironic

This deeply-closeted bisexual splaboo is now inviting the male members of the dwindling in enrollment church to "late night prayer meetings".  This statement alone is PURE IRONY.  Now what are they going to be "praying" about?  Something tells me that he is trying to recruit more closet cases and "extra discrete" men in the Metro Atlanta area to partake in "extracurricular activities" in the late night hours...

Oh where is a nice hidden camera when it is needed...

Another week and another round up

Well, the Good Bishop Eddie Long was on YouTube pleading to California-based investment company, City Capital Corp. on the behalf of his "parishioners" at New Birth Missionary Baptist Church to resolve issues involving their retirement accounts.  According to the Atlanta Journal-Constitution, these accounts have possibly tanked and went down with the economic downturn.  Long is pleading to get his "parishioners" investments back with interest.   Former CEO of City Capital, Ephren Taylor responded attempted to refute the allegations and clear his name which has been dragged through the mud because of this controversy.  SMH, that New Birth is cursed.

Awww, it's so cute that Tyler Perry has snatched the role of "Alex Cross" from Idris Elba in the revamping of the franchised based on James Patterson's novels of the same name.  It's so funny listening to the producer of the upcoming film set to start filming in June said that Perry as:

Tyler Perry is a phenomenon. Tyler Perry is one of the most significant entertainers in all of media. He is a huge cross-media talent and presence — and he’s a terrific actor whose range is going to be shown here. You’re going to see Tyler Perry like you haven’t seen him. He’s 6’5″, he is a linebacker. He is an awesome physical presence and is just going to tear it apart here. It’s an intense, dramatic role.

I just want to snicker and then go back to ignoring this film franchise as before (Hell I haven't even seen "Kiss the Girls" so you know...).  However, it's been a topic of the black blogosphere all week long so I had to discuss it.

The mandatory insurance coverage portion of the Americans for Affordable Healthcare Act was found unconstitutional in the U.S. District Court in Pensacola by (conservative and anti-healthcare funded) Judge Roger Vinson.  Vinson attempted to invalidate the entire law basing on the way the law was written and passed. This the suit that was orchestrated by 22 states filed against the law.  Another attempt by the classist-complexed (majority white) faction of T.E.A. Twats attempting to further fuckery in our nation...

The GOP leaders of the Alabama Legislature has decided to limit access of the State House claiming the  shooting of Gabrielle Giffords as a reason.  The Alabama Democrats responded to the antics of the GOP shutting the door on process to the people and forcing them to backtrack on their stance.  It seems to me there is some funny business going on with this.  I'm more ashamed of how Senator Pro Tem Del Marsh co-signs on this fuckery considering I know him personally.  Wise move by the ADP to attack, but they still have disorder in their own house before they are reputable party and organization again.  However, that's politicians for ya, they say what they are going do and then the do the exact opposite...  (h/t to Left in Alabama)

Oh yeah, the wintry mix of rain/sleet/snow caused chaos during rush hour in Birmingham and Central Alabama, but primarily Birmingham on Thursday.  This weather is the normal for this part of the South, so my advice to all officials in these major cities, "BUY SOME DAMN SNOW EQUIPMENT, NOW!!!!"

That's this week in review.  I'll be back with the more posts soon.

Oh while I was away taking care of business...

I was taking care of some graduate school business, but did have my ear to the blogosphere and the news...

Kudos to Charles Barkley for speaking his mind about Bernice...Bernice King, whom is the current sitting president of the SCLC, for her lack of regard for LGBTs of color yet want to take claim to "carrying the torch" of her father.  Speak the truth and shame the demons amongst us...

Auburn University QB soon to be NFL draftee, Cam Newton giving away his education for something as unstable and unpredictable as a career in professional football.  Now very wise at all if you ask me, and Dr. Boyce Watkins agrees with me on that.  As a matter of fact, Watkins went even further and said that his giving away a paid for education is just further the "plantation mentality" for black Americans.  WOW, WOW, WOW!  I don't wholeheartedly agree, but he has a some strong points about them taking advantage of these talented individuals.

Then there was the Over-the-Mountain Democrats forum of last Tuesday (January 18th) about "How Will the Democrats Rise Again?" at the Birmingham Botanical Gardens.  My buddy, Mooncat at Left in Alabama, covered it quite well links here, here, and here.  The truth is the Alabama Democratic Party is screwed because white Democrats are too busy trying to "chase after rainbows", i.e. "the elusive rural white vote" while running away from being associated with President Obama (whom isn't popular with a faction of white Alabamians) then the "Joe Reed Problem".  The man that is the human equivalent to "a runaway train from hell" while playing up the Bojangles angle.  I've covered that thing for awhile now and have nothing else to say about it...

Finally, the incident in Carroll County, Georgia of the Metro Atlanta area.  According to the Times-Georgian of Carroll County, 43-year-old Chris Staples was residing at his mother's residence on disability since he had injured himself on the job many years ago, and has been openly homosexual for nearly 20 years.  WSB-TV reports that on Sunday, there were two incidents that occurred at the residence, first a rock thrown through a bedroom window with a message from the assailant conveying their knowledge of Staples' sexuality and he was going to hell then a fire set to the residence.  One has to wonder who in the hell in 2011 still spins their time worrying about what some low-key individual especially a homosexual does with their life?  Nuttiness

I should be back to somewhat regular posting later on this week after getting caught up with other things I'm handling involving my Masters' program...

CORRECTION: According to last Friday's Atlanta Journal-Constitution, Bernice King turned down the role of president of the SCLC, but that doesn't excuse her track record on LGBT rights...

Twisted irony of this being a topic: "The Princess Boy"

Just last week I was having a conversation with an older black, closeted homosexual guy about this very topic.  He said one of the main reasons why he would never live in Atlanta was because of the overt over acceptance of  homosexual behaviors and in his words "dudes who dress in female clothing".  I responded saying, "I don't worry about what others do because that is their lives and I will live mine as I see fit.".  Now this guy is from Chicago originally, where he rear and lived until a couple years ago before relocating with his daughter to Birmingham for a job.  It's interesting that he mentioned that he thinks that "guys should exhibit any type of non-conforming behavior" yet he is a homosexual (another non-conforming behavior) and deeply closeted (also a "Praise Team" director at his church in other words he is a "church queen").

I digress, the story about Dyson Kilodavis of Seattle and his non-conforming behavior of dressing in female attire.  The 5-year-old black boy likes to dress in dresses and even calls himself "princess boy".  He and his mother Cheryl Kilodavis were on the NBC Today show on Monday morning discussing this and a book his mother wrote about similar behavior in children.  Cheryl Kilodavis penned her book My Princess Boy in an effort to have these larger conversations about acceptance.  The black and mostly black LGBT blogospheres have been talking about this all week.  Now I heard about and saw the interview with the Kilodavis' on local NBC station, WVTM, on Monday, but was too tired to say much about it.  However, after seeing how the black blogosphere's responses have fallen in other of the 3 catogories: ambivalent, supportive, or against it.  (See Bossip, Lipstick Alley, Living Out Loud with Darian, Rod 2.0, Pam's House Blend, Miss Jia) The majority has been against it (no surprise).  As Dr. Sheri L. Parks of the University of Maryland, College Park said,  

"Religiosity permeates African-American daily life more than any other population," Parks said. "When you look at evangelical Protestants they are the most concerned about gender role development and sexual orientation.  African-Americans are very emotionally involved in black masculinity. Masculinity is very highly valued, that's why some people come down hard on this little boy whose not taking his rightful place."

It's a damn shame because identity is one thing as an adolescent that is very hard to figure out and discover as it is, but the additional pressures that blacks places on one another for "conforming behaviors" just makes it even harder for young black males and some females when it comes to these things.  Hence, why I give folk the side-eye half the time because as a "group" (when need to used for subjective discussion), we talk out of both sides of our necks.  We want acceptance as people as whole in Western society, but refuse to accept individual members for their differences especially in they involve not falling in line with socially acceptable behaviors of being hyper-masculinity in males.

(h/t to the Grio for the links)