Tuesday, October 23, 2012

I'm going to dedicate 5 minutes of my life to say this about black-white SGL dating...

Rarely nowadays do I comment on the racial politics of SGL male dating, but let me be honest about this whole white-black dynamic. Preface, yeah there are more racial combinations in the world, but in the US the white-black contrast is always the most contentious.  Back to topic, white-black racial combo in relationships is always tricky.  You may ask, "why do you say that?".  Well for starters, black LGBTs are still the bottom of the racial hierarchy in the US because "the mandingo, i.e. supposed 'big black dick'", "they are all thugs", "they aren't very well rounded or educated", "they are lazy and shiftless", or "they all have AIDS and/or HIV" stereotype.  Many have taken these stereotypical myths and applied to dealing with black males as only cutbuddies/fuckbuddies or hook up only material rather than dating.

In my personal experience, there has been a lot of objectification that goes on throughout the gay/bisexual fold of men in general, but there is a special set of rules that seem to exist just for black-white sexual & relationship interactions.  Where the black guy suppose to be the "dominant top with a big dick" and the white guy is "submissive bottom that loves big dick".

Also have to interject the problematic age disparity of some white guys when it comes to dating or being open to having a relationship with black guys.  Many will intentionally wait until they are "used up" or 30+ years in age to engage or "explore this" after many of their fellow "more appealing" (in the aforementioned supposed hierarchical terms) are tired of them or unattainable anymore.  This perplexes me considering I, like many other black guys whom aren't racial specific, was like this since day one when we encounter white guys whom are much older than us always approaching us like we are "their last resort".  My motto is this, "if you didn't want to deal with a black guy when you were a 'hot commodity' then don't deal with one when you aren't anymore".

Now personally, I am not a "top" at all and generally non-discriminatory when it comes to anything including dating although I lean more towards other black guys.  I have dated a couple of white guys and have experienced this silliness first hand. I do find this dynamic annoying to say the least.  I also find that this expectation to be off-putting when it comes to interracial dating with guys.  Let's not forget in the South and in many parts of the US in general, a significant majority still believe in the aforementioned negative connotation about black guys.  It's just a double negative as to why I'm extremely choosy about dating white guys, period.

If I get a hint of a reason to believe that person is that way then, I'm chucking up the deuces...

Love is love, and it shouldn't have any color boundaries or limitations because of the social construct known as "race".

1 comment:

  1. You know what, I'm really thankful that members of xxxblack book online community don't have the sense of stereotyping black people. And thank you for being so open-minded also.



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