Sunday, June 17, 2012

Sometimes I wonder are US black gay/bisexual men are their own worse enemies

Yeah, I said it.  I hate to get to this point, but it seems to be the dilemma I see going on.  It doesn't matter if it is on BGC, Adam4Adam, Facebook, Twitter, or the randoms blogs, it seems like the divisions amongst black gay/bisexual men (especially in the US).

Exhibit A: The upstart blog "Discreet City", which is a blog about relationships, being masculine black man (cue *eyeroll*), being "discreet about your sexuality" while maintaining a sense of self as a man.  Yeah, that is a mouthful.  I would say yeah this is a good thing, but why is that this blog dedicates so many of its posts to talking about the "femininization of black gay males".  Along with the authors' personal indictments of how relationships form and why they exist (really guys?)  Does it really matter?  I am asking because so many other topics could be discussed (which they do occasionally, keyword "occasionally"), but why talk so much about these topics like it truly matters.  If US black gay/bisexual men are more worried about masculinity and  perception of their mannerisms then we are in some trouble.  It seems that this site is more caught up on the idea of making men whom happen to be masculine, black, and gay/bisexual feel better about themselves as "outsiders trying to confirm to social standards" rather than stand as a beacon of unification of the heavily factionalized black GBTs.  Divisive tactics are counterproductive to the overall collective body.

I'm sorry but femininity is the least of most black GBTs issues considering the surmounting number of us falling victim to hate crimes more often than not, to commit suicide, being the ones whom are more likely to know somebody or is that somebody that contracts HIV, and the list goes on and on and on...

This is not an incriminating saying to black GBTs in general just the ones that causes the most problems amongst the demographic.  Masculinity shouldn't even be an issue of discussion unless you are more hung on people's mannerisms than their entire personality (and physical appearance).  Remember, we are the group that allows our black pride celebrations be more about the parties (and orgies) than about the informational seminars and public celebrations/gatherings.  I feel when forums about how poorly represented a certain group is one thing but when you criticize and look for ways to make others whom possess a different perspective than you feel alien then  you are doing more harm than good.  Also, it shouldn't be about trying to hide oneself from the world because of the complicity is why we are still more likely than not to be victims of circumstance than champions of success.   As a group, we should be the ones whom unity one another rather than look for further divisions between ourselves.

Oh yeah Nick & Octavius, if you have an issue with what I said on my blog well you going to have to get over it.  My opinions are about the obvious and the collective not about what really bothers me about other black gay/bisexual men.  Say what you but remember you are just fulfilling a negative stereotype.  ;)

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