Some random thoughts (and a little ranting)...

What is with black folks and the indoctrination of self-deprecation and self-defeating mentality on life itself.  I speak on this because when I step outside of my very tight knit circle of friends (and when I mean tight I mean less than 5 people), I see so much of this.  I only surround myself on a personal-level with positive individuals that have much to offer in life other than the same old crap I see in the world itself, negativity.  It's a damn shame that as a group black people will shift towards this "holier than thou" disposition or "leave it all to Jesus" mentality when at the end of the day it's clearly a personal issue of psychological dissonance.

There was one person in my life, that I used to have long time ago that fronted like he was pragmatic, but his deep seated psychological issues seeped to the surface and they became this overtly negative and arrogant individual.  It was awful seeing somebody of so much potential to be a very productive member of society devolve into this self-defeating and stagnant soul with an arrogant chip on their should.  I had to remove them from my life by choice because they wen't providing anything of substance to myself (rather taking).

On to more related issues, I read this evening the blog, Black Gay Men's Blog, and its topic discussion on same-sex unions, i.e. "gay marriage" amongst black males.  It seemed that even though much growth has occurred in the past several decades, many have fully embraced this internal self-deprecating and bigoted views about unions and long-term relationships.  I've had my missteps but I also realize that if you embrace negativity then you wind up more miserable than you were beforehand.  The notion another individual would allow their peers, environment, sometimes even media and stereotypes affirm whom they are then it shows how weak-minded they are as individuals.  I refuse to allow anyone define me as a person, I know I'm far from perfect but anyone with half a brain and an ounce of common sense knows themselves well enough to not allow others to make them insecure.

Honestly, I believe it is the root of the self-destructive behavior that so many black SGL/gay/bisexual men partake in such as risky behaviors like unprotected sex, drug use, and obsession with unrealistic standards for others and sometimes themselves with their body image.

It's funny I've been writing this blog for nearly 2 years, but the truth hurts whether it about whites, blacks, LGBT/SGLs, or individuals.

Rant over.