Oh the things, I haven't forgotten at all...

For starters, I do remember the days when I was younger and saw acceptance from others due to my earlier struggles with my weight.  However, when one comes to terms to understand yourself from your race (and for some their ethnicity), it gets even more complicated when you add sexuality to the mix.  My sexuality has been more of non-factor for me because I have never really allowed it to be placed at the forefront of my personal identity.  On the other hand, when one does began to interact with their peers and form relationships, it does become a kind come into play along with the other aforementioned characteristics such as race, ethnicity, height, and body type (weight).

Anyways, to get to the point.  I came across this article from GMFA, a UK-based organization that promotes positive and good health practices for gay, bisexual, and queer males.  The article is very true and quite on point of some of the things many non-white but particularly black gay and bisexual males have to deal with when they are on their journal of self acceptance and confidence.  This interesting segment of the article stuck out to me:

As a 17-year-old, seeing the “no Blacks, no Asians” statement displayed on a profile would sadden me, but that was nothing compared with getting those remarks back as a response after I had broken the ice in a direct message. Rejection is always worse when you are not expecting it, and people can react to sexual racism in various different ways. Ten years ago it would have made me angry and I would have instantly questioned how the rest of the world was viewing me, but these days, I really don’t give a damn about the thoughts of people who are clearly incapable of at displaying common decency. My school days, when I would attempt to ‘fit in’ with the majority, are long gone, and I am not going to spend my time worrying about the sexual preferences of a bunch of morons! 

Honestly, that is my journey to now went except I was 19 versus 17.  At the point and time now, I am confident in myself and don't care for anyone regardless of race if they aren't attracted to me.   However, I do still sigh for many SGL of color that seek companionship with those that maybe white face rejection for their race.  I have said time and time again, that exclusively seeking any group is going to be recipe for constant rejection, but with time I have found myself desiring a long term relationship and companionship with another black male.  It's not to say I cannot be with somebody that isn't a non-black male, but the truth is the likelihood is very high considering how so often sexual racism and fetishization plays a heavy role in interracial interactions still on a same-gender loving (SGL) relationships.

At the moment, I have been happily dating someone new for 6+ months and yeah it is a black guy, but I still to remember those days of the past when this was one of my challenges of personal growth.