I see where you both are coming from, but sorry, you both are WRONG!

I have to say the take on the cultural appropriation of black male slang by and the discussion that followed was so ODD.  It just shows the rift that exists between the black heterosexual and black LGBTs over such simple issues.

Anyways, black LGBT author and blogger, Rashid Darden, wrote on his own personal blog, Dopalicious District, how he is perped by the usage of "black gay male slang" by black heterosexual females in everyday life and on certain TV shows. ***COUGH*** The Real Housewives of Atlanta & Married to Medicine ***COUGH***

This week’s Real Housewives of Atlanta was quite eventful, and other blogs will give you a proper recap.  For me, seeing Cynthia Bailey give Mynique Smith an “education” in gay black slang made me uncomfortable.

I am a black gay man and for years I’ve seen our culture and language appropriated by white people and by women.  On one hand, I can’t be too mad because that’s just the way culture and language works.  On the other hand, stop stealing our shit.

Darden expresses how he feels that many black heterosexual females have stolen the lingo of black gay men for their usage, but many of them are quite homophobic.

On the flipside, the blog post wind up becoming discussion of the popular black female lifestyle blog, Madame Noire, where columnist, Charling Ball, posted an extrapolated take/rebuttal on the topic.  Meanwhile, the commentator comes out on both sites (mostly black females) antagonizing Darden and other black gay males for feeling that slang/lingo was their originally.  As a matter of fact, many posters on the Madame Noire site kept refuting this about black LGBT culture:

cheekee baby: Ummmm Gay black men have been fashioning themselves after black women for ages. I mean really they are walking around with purses and high heels meant for women. Hello! Too many act like sassy caricatures of black women. So he clearly needs to get over himself.

Nikia D-Shiznit: So, gay black men walk around looking and dressing like women, behaving in ways that are feminine or what they think women do.... But their language is being misappropriated? I cry why I see a limp wristed man in a dress and high heels saying "hheeeyyyy."

While others went to the usual attacks of saying this about black gay males:

lockstress: So ya'll can borrow and wear our panties but I can't say hunty??? Boo...get a cramp and complain for REAL!

Chaz : Why did this writer even take the time out to write this article? He is talking about black females using words that supposedly black gay men came up with? LOL. Wow. You don't see us black females going around talking about how much gay men wanna be women. How they go around calling themselves "girl" , wearing eyelashes, make up, weave, they get butt implants, breast implants... must I go on?

Now, I'm not here for homoantagonism nor am I here for misogyny, but this is some bullshit...

This is where I feel both are wrong because 1) Yes, many black LGBTs have taken their behaviors, manners, etc. from older black women like their grandmother, aunts, mothers, etc. so it isn't for black males to claim originally, but 2) The terminology "read" isn't from black female culture at all because that was popularized by the NYC drag queens popularized by the documentary "Paris Is Burning" and finally 3) Yes, there are some asinine black heterosexual and homoantagonist bisexual females that ridicule black gay/bisexual/transgendered males will use that particular lingo and hypocritically hate on, express strong dislike, or possess hatred for that aforementioned group.

It is not my place to take sides on this subject because my last point is poignant about the whole topic. Additionally, there is not excuse for black heterosexuals regardless of gender to possess homophobic bias or homophobia towards black LGBTs when we are all in the same boat together in this seemingly anti-black Western society.  This has to cease if we are to push forward as a culture.  Attacking black LGBTs is as unbecoming of black folks as attacking mixed raced/biracial individuals for only having 1 black parent because they don't possess 2 black parents.  Just like black LGBTs didn't ask to be born with feelings of sexual attraction towards the same gender, both genders, or gender dysmorphia about themselves is the same as those mixed race or biracial individuals being born to parents with 2 different racial/ethnic backgrounds.

Oh the things, I haven't forgotten at all...

For starters, I do remember the days when I was younger and saw acceptance from others due to my earlier struggles with my weight.  However, when one comes to terms to understand yourself from your race (and for some their ethnicity), it gets even more complicated when you add sexuality to the mix.  My sexuality has been more of non-factor for me because I have never really allowed it to be placed at the forefront of my personal identity.  On the other hand, when one does began to interact with their peers and form relationships, it does become a kind come into play along with the other aforementioned characteristics such as race, ethnicity, height, and body type (weight).

Anyways, to get to the point.  I came across this article from GMFA, a UK-based organization that promotes positive and good health practices for gay, bisexual, and queer males.  The article is very true and quite on point of some of the things many non-white but particularly black gay and bisexual males have to deal with when they are on their journal of self acceptance and confidence.  This interesting segment of the article stuck out to me:

As a 17-year-old, seeing the “no Blacks, no Asians” statement displayed on a profile would sadden me, but that was nothing compared with getting those remarks back as a response after I had broken the ice in a direct message. Rejection is always worse when you are not expecting it, and people can react to sexual racism in various different ways. Ten years ago it would have made me angry and I would have instantly questioned how the rest of the world was viewing me, but these days, I really don’t give a damn about the thoughts of people who are clearly incapable of at displaying common decency. My school days, when I would attempt to ‘fit in’ with the majority, are long gone, and I am not going to spend my time worrying about the sexual preferences of a bunch of morons! 

Honestly, that is my journey to now went except I was 19 versus 17.  At the point and time now, I am confident in myself and don't care for anyone regardless of race if they aren't attracted to me.   However, I do still sigh for many SGL of color that seek companionship with those that maybe white face rejection for their race.  I have said time and time again, that exclusively seeking any group is going to be recipe for constant rejection, but with time I have found myself desiring a long term relationship and companionship with another black male.  It's not to say I cannot be with somebody that isn't a non-black male, but the truth is the likelihood is very high considering how so often sexual racism and fetishization plays a heavy role in interracial interactions still on a same-gender loving (SGL) relationships.

At the moment, I have been happily dating someone new for 6+ months and yeah it is a black guy, but I still to remember those days of the past when this was one of my challenges of personal growth.

I am still around

I am currently contemplating if I will be shifting to the WordPress site I own or continue to hold this domain to blog.  As more free time and renewed dedication to expressing myself comes clear to me in the coming weeks I will decide.

Oh yeah, let's me say this.  I am annoyed with Beyonce and her hype machine, but that is all.  I have never been a fan like that rather appreciative of the artistry.

On the planning front, it looks like the Regional Planning Commission of Greater Birmingham is under fire again by Alphabet Soup but this type using a lobbyist firm.  They accused RPCGB of aiding environmentalists in sabotaging their pet project that leads to nowhere and goes through nothing but ecologically sensitive environs.  Those assholes stay trying to force the Greater Birmingham area to continue to sprawl out into the hollow ground of northern Jeffco with their multi-billion dollar boondoogle.  I do mean hollow ground considering I know how many abandoned mines are located in that portion of Alabama's most populous county.  Can you say sinkholes?

In Metro Atlanta, the rush to municipalize all areas within the two core counties that are economically viable and thriving continues.  Now the aversively racist white suburbanites (whom are actually urbanites) within DeKalb County are pushing for the creation of the "City of Briarcliff" in North Central DeKalb County.  This initiative is another imagination-gone-wild creation of upset over the shift in demographic suburban white Georgians that DeKalb County is no longer a white-dominated haven of years past (see the creation of the "City of Dunwoody, Georgia" for proof).  The Briarcliff group will release a "feasibility study" about their imaginary "city" so it can become reality.  The true gag is the conflict with the better organized (terms in developmental patterns and actually having a "main street business district") "City of Tucker" initiative over the Northlake Mall commercial and business district.  Apparently, there is a battle royale over whom will claim the Northlake Commercial District.  Yep, Atlanta is trying to catch up with Birmingham over which Southern major metro has the most balkanized urban core.

'Tis is all for now.